I wasn't angry with my friends but I definitely was jealous. They got every guy they wanted with absolutely no work. And if people asked them how they did it, they had no answers. It just happened that way.
Sometimes they would get rejected like once, and their whole world would fall apart. And that confused me. Dude, it's one guy out of 5,000.
Now I'm realizing, I am that friend to a lot of people.
Not in terms of guys, but in terms of positions on campus.
I could see why other people may think that I just fall into things, or I get everything I want, without working at all. I can see people becoming jealous of me. It's obvious because they try to make their comments sound like compliments. Or they compare themselves. Everything is a competition, and they can't be unconditionally happy for me.
I don't blame them because from the outside it is probably very confusing to them.
I don't blame them because from the outside it is probably very confusing to them.
One day on tumblr multiple people were anonymously messaging me saying that I didn't have to work for anything I had, and I just got things handed to me. It was really baffling to me because I'm a black woman in America. Of course I have to work hard for things. I actually have to work twice as hard. I kept trying to defend myself, but at the end of the day I felt bad. Because these people were obviously hurt by me and my success
I earned most of these positions because I went out of my comfort zone in the beginning of college, and started networking with people. I looked for multiple ways I could get involved, and didn't keep pushing things off until Junior year. I took small things, that I could use to further my leadership skills.
I'm very good at forced conversation, and I have good interview skills. I just naturally smile and giggle a lot in interviews (out of nervousness), and people mistake it for friendliness. I make sure that I'm warm, and not stand-offish. I'm very good at articulating myself in a professional manner.
I'm constantly editing my resume. The third week of freshman year I took it in to get critiqued, and I've been building on it ever since. I know the importance of a good GPA, and doing well in school.
I know how to dress professionally.
The thing is, you could do all of these things and more. You could talk better, dress better, try harder, work longer, and you still may not be able to do the things that I do.
There's no explanation for that.
Because it's life.
I now realize that.
The girls that got all of the guys? That's just life. The people who are prettier than me? That's just life.
All of this is just life.
There will always be someone with something you don't have, doing something that you want to do. And as sucky as it is, as confusing as it is, there isn't going to be a concrete reason for why it's happening.
All we can do is keep working, and keep trying to push ourselves.
Which isn't what most people would like to hear.
But these are the cards that we've been dealt.
I earned most of these positions because I went out of my comfort zone in the beginning of college, and started networking with people. I looked for multiple ways I could get involved, and didn't keep pushing things off until Junior year. I took small things, that I could use to further my leadership skills.
I'm very good at forced conversation, and I have good interview skills. I just naturally smile and giggle a lot in interviews (out of nervousness), and people mistake it for friendliness. I make sure that I'm warm, and not stand-offish. I'm very good at articulating myself in a professional manner.
I'm constantly editing my resume. The third week of freshman year I took it in to get critiqued, and I've been building on it ever since. I know the importance of a good GPA, and doing well in school.
I know how to dress professionally.
The thing is, you could do all of these things and more. You could talk better, dress better, try harder, work longer, and you still may not be able to do the things that I do.
There's no explanation for that.
Because it's life.
I now realize that.
The girls that got all of the guys? That's just life. The people who are prettier than me? That's just life.
All of this is just life.
There will always be someone with something you don't have, doing something that you want to do. And as sucky as it is, as confusing as it is, there isn't going to be a concrete reason for why it's happening.
All we can do is keep working, and keep trying to push ourselves.
Which isn't what most people would like to hear.
But these are the cards that we've been dealt.
No comments:
Post a Comment