A is for Ally

I really struggle with people who cling so tightly to their Ally title, when in all honesty I shy away from it. I don't really think of it as some badge of honor. I think of it as me being a decent person. I mean, it just seems like common sense to me. Why would I not want to use my privileges to help those with less?

Of course we know that the real world isn't like that.

There are people that 1. don't want to acknowledge their privileges or 2. acknowledge it, but don't want to do anything about it. It makes sense. We want to differentiate ourselves from those people, so we give ourselves a name. Ally. But what does it mean?

I think some people believe that because they say gay people she get married, they are an ally. I think some people believe that just because they think racism is wrong, they are an ally.

I think they're wrong. I think an Ally is able to recognize systematic oppression, and is actively doing something about it. They're not just sitting there acknowledging that people's lives are harder, and then going on with their merry way.

Also, Allies are humble.

Allies do their work because they truly believe in it.. They feel it in their gut that something is not right, and they are taking a stand. They don't do it for recognition because it's the exact opposite of what they want.

Allies don't constantly reiterate their Allyship. For me to go into a GSM space, and keep reiterating to people that I'm straight, is actually a form of aggression. Why must I re-affirm my identity? Why is my pat on the back more important than someone else's safe space?

Allies are willing to get their privilege checked. They will often be wrong or uninformed when it comes to certain issues. Instead of arguing out of hurt, they will take a step back and actually listen to the oppressed group. They will read, research, and understand that often times oppressed groups aren't just speaking from emotion. There are years of historical analysis and writing on the topics.

Allies don't treat everyone like a walking encyclopedia. Since I've just mentioned that there are years of historical analysis and writing on certain topics, there is no need for you to corner every oppressed group, and constantly ask for knowledge. It's draining, and emotionally taxing. Respect that, and read a dang book.

I think that often times, allies are used to being the most progressive/liberal person in their group of friends. So they cling to that, and enjoy that. So much so that they think they know everything they need to know. They take up too much space, and don't constantly check their privileges. They let their title get in the way of actual allyship. They treat people's oppression as something trendy that they can just tote around to impress people, but what does it really mean?

What are you really doing?

Ask yourself that.