Kristina's Greatest Hits: Season 1

All of these are posts from tumblr within the past 1.5 months. I don't want to lose these thoughts in a sea of reblogs, but I can't really expound upon them long enough to make them an entire blog post. Thus, Kristina's Greatest Hits was born. Enjoy.

Episode 1
I was at a restaurant with a friend waiting for a to-go box. I had to take my food home because I don’t have a car, and I had nothing else to eat that day.

 She takes this an opportunity to start eating off my plate. She takes a little bit, then a lot. She pretty much eats 75% of my leftovers.

And you know what? I didn’t say anything. 

And that’s what pisses me off. I never say anything.I just sit there agitated and upset.I'm too afraid to stand up for myself.

 If it’s a stranger, no problem. 

But if it’s a friend, I just sit there and keep letting them do something that bothers me.I wish I could stop that.

Episode 2
There’s a difference between not being interested in popular things and then purposely avoiding things because they are popular. Sure I like things that don’t interest people at my school, but I am definitely able to admit when I like a Top 40 song, and I can enjoy a Pumpkin Spice Latte.

Episode 3
I love when people read my writing but it’s hard because I don’t know when to correct people when they simply just don’t “get” it.

Episode 4
My thing is, if you’re having such a great time at the party, what I do with my body should be the least of your concern.

Episode 5
Well we aren’t really friends anymore, but now we have the same class, who just always said racially ignorant statements, and was the queen of the microagression.

Literally every single day she would emphasize to me the fact that she would not date a black guy. If she even found one attractive, she would say “Iwouldntdateablackguy but he was really cute.”

Kay.

Well anyways we were studying, and this guy with dreads walked by. She looked at him with disdain and was like “Would you ever date a guy with dreads?” 

And idk. The question, our past, everything about it rubbed me the wrong way. It was like this vibe like wow, not only is he black, but he has this “scary” looking hairstyle.

 I just said, “I’m not going to make blanket statements about who I would or wouldnt date, without getting to know the person first.” 

Episode 6
It breaks my heart sitting here in these classes, being around people who think the way they do. Even the fake feminists and activists are draining me.

 I can’t wait to graduate, and go to a place where I can just be myself and not have to keep everything bottled up.

Episode 7
Now that I’m older I’m realizing I don’t have to grin and bare people’s problematic statements.

 I have enough friends.

 If you’re going to say crappy comments I’m not losing anything by calling you out.

Episode 8
Is it appropriate to contact people you’ve kissed in the past and ask how you can improve?

Because my biggest fear is that I suck at kissing.

Episode 9
We fight for huge issues like people being oppressed and inequalities, but whatever happened to just simple common courtesy and treating people with respect.

 What happened to not lying, and saying please and thank you?

Episode 10
Black friends making fun of your darker complexion is still wrong and anti-black.

The thing is, I’m still cute. 

Not in spite of my complexion, but because of it.

Episode 11
It’s so cool that people are on board with this new trendy thing called feminism now. 

But if you are willing to accept that male privilege exists then how are you not able to accept that white and heterosexual privilege exists as well?

Episode 12
Sometimes too many horrible things happen in our world at once and I just take a break from commenting or feeling just get by.

 It’s not because I don’t care. It’s because I care too much, and in order for me to not self-destruct I need to process these feelings in my own time.

People often discount the feeling of worthlessness associated with realizing that your body (your black body) does not count as something worthy of living, in this country. 

This is not a joke. 

This is not the social justice warriors on tumblr. This is me, a black woman asking how many more people have to die before we realize that this is a problem.

I wish the answers were right in front of us, and I wish the people and families hurting didn’t have to hurt anymore. 
But I just get so discouraged.

Episode 13
I can definitely identify with how hard it is to go against your parent's values in support of members of the GSM community. But let's not compare that to actually coming out.