"I believe that a feminist is someone who is able to recognize the negative impacts of our patriarchal society, and is someone who is actively working towards social and economical equality for women."
It's pretty self-explanatory right? Usually this answer is good enough for others, and they move on with their life. However, with many people claiming to be feminists now I feel like things are getting cloudy. What truly IS feminism? Where do we draw the line between being a genuine feminist, and being trendy? I feel like the only way for me to properly dissect feminism is for me to inform others of what feminism is not.
Disclaimer: This isn't going to be an article about how feminism isn't about burning your bra, and not shaving your armpits, because if you already think that, then you're probably not mature or informed enough to be on this blog. Also, if you're looking for me to sound super academic this probably isn't the space for you either.
Feminism does not shame women for their sexual choices, and the way they choose to express themselves.
The whole point of feminism, is choice. Feminists believe that a woman should be able to choose to live her life the way she sees fit. Therefore, a feminist can choose to abstain from sex. She can choose to have sex with multiple partners. She can have sex with a man, she can have sex with a woman. She can have sex on Mondays and Tuesdays, and she can have sex on Wednesdays and Thursdays. Bottom line is, a woman can have sex (or not have sex) anytime she chooses. A true feminist does not judge women for their sexual kinks and quirks. They do not alienate women who choose to wait until marriage to have sex. They mind their own business and just stick to advocating for safe, consensual, sex. That's it. That's all we're worried about here people.
Feminists also don't think lesser of a woman because of how she dresses. People can wear see-through clothing, or they can wear super long skirts. They can think it's okay to wear Nike shorts to class everyday. If you look back on this blog you can see previous writing about clothing choices, so I'm not going to expand much more on that topic.
Also, feminists don't refer to other women as thots, sluts, whores, etc. Pretty much any problematic term that shames women for behaving the same way that men do. That's actually pretty crappy if you are a "feminist" and think that that is slightly okay.
Feminism is consistent.
If you want to stand up for women, you don't get to pick and choose when you do so. You can't complain about women-shaming, then tell people what's appropriate for them to wear to class. You can't preach about a women's right to choose (about anything) and then bash them for making a decision that you would not like. You can't stand up for domestic violence victims one day, then victim blame the next. You can't say you believe in women having autonomy over their own body, then refer to them as sluts the next second. What are you doing people?!
Feminism does not shame women for their own religious choices.
There's this common misconception that the archetype for a feminist is an angry white, atheist, lesbian. And that's okay, because I actually like angry, white, atheist, lesbians. But those aren't the only people who believe in feminist values. This misconception that a feminist has to be atheist, and can't be religious is actually quite annoying. I am a proud Christian who is also a firm feminist. I don't think these things conflict, in fact, I think they actually work hand-in-hand. I am able to analyze and accept that sometimes people's religious values can infiltrate our government, and negatively impact women. I'm not naive.
And don't even get me started with so-called feminists shaming Muslim women, for covering their hair/bodies. If a woman CHOOSES to practice that faith then that is her CHOICE and therefore, it is none of your business. Enough with this myth that every Muslim woman needs to be liberated. The only thing she needs to be liberated from is you with your ignorant misconceptions about her faith.
Feminism is not trans-exclusive.
If someone identifies as a woman, she is a woman. Therefore, we must protect them at all costs. I don't get how people can claim to be feminists while ignoring the fact that trans women are being murdered at astronomical rates. I'm tired of TERF feminists thinking they're feminists. They're actually really, really, annoying and hateful.
Feminism does not forget about power structure, and intersectionality.
If you are able to acknowledge the fact that your life is harder because you are woman, you are should also be able to acknowledge the fact that your life would be EVEN harder if you were a POC woman, a disabled woman, a GSM woman, an undocumented woman. If you want to fight for equality, fight for us all. Don't enter POC safe spaces, and turn the conversation into something about you. Don't talk about domestic violence victims and forget about those in GSM relationships. Don't quote the 77 cents quote while ignoring that fact that as a black woman, I will actually only be making 64 cents for every white mans dollar, AND that Latino women will actually be making only 54 cents.
Also, if you are able to acknowledge that men shouldn't be calling women derogatory terms, then ERADICATE YOUR USE OF DEROGATORY TERMS. The n-word, r******* (a term for people with special needs), calling things "gay", complaining that you "look like a lesbian," all of those things go against the feminist code of conduct. SO STOP DOING IT.
Feminism is not a trend.
I didn't become a feminist because Beyonce told me to. I didn't become a feminist because it was something cute to put in my Instagram bio. I am a feminist because I believe in equality, and I will not stop working to help woman receive the fair treatment they deserve.
-Kristina
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