Popularity is Overrated.

Ever since middle school, my life has been this constant process of me complaining about my lack of friends. When I do make friends, they aren't the "right" friends, and we have a falling out. It's been a constant cycle of friendships (or lack of friendships) adding more stress to my life, than happiness.

I thought this would all change once I entered college, but it didn't. I came to college in a toxic relationship, and it held me back from making friends my first year. The first months of Sophomore year were hard, because I essentially had to start all over. However, the summer before Sophomore year I made a promise to myself that it would be my best year yet. It was. I made so many new friends, and gained so many more opportunities. I was making a name for myself on campus. I also got a job that afforded me the opportunity to gain 23 instant friends. Along with that came respect, and recognition. Not only that, I was rekindling old friendships as well. It was really such a great year. I finally had all of the loyal, fun friends that I wanted. I couldn't walk across campus without saying hi to multiple people. It got to the point where people avoided walking around with me.

 All of my life I had built friendship up to be this big magical thing. The thing that would make me truly happy. Don't get me wrong, I am happy. But not because of my friends. I'm happy because of myself. You see, I do know a ton of people on campus. But actually, probably only 30 of them are friends. As in, they're people that I could text and ask to hangout and it would be totally normal. Out of those 30 people, only 15 are consistent. These are the people that I hangout with on a regular basis. Out of those 15 people, only 5 people really "get" me. Side note: I don't have people in mind when I'm writing this post, this is really just for statistical purposes. Moving on, those 5 people "get" me, because they understand and respect every aspect of me. They know how I feel about things from pop culture, to politics. They embrace my progressive values, etc. So we have those 5 core people, that I can consistently count on. 

But even those 5 people are human. They make mistakes. They let me down. It's not because they're bad people, it's because it would be illogical to expect them to be flawless. Sometimes those mistakes truly hurt me. I'm sure I've made some mistakes in friendships that have caused people pain as well. I'm not saying friendships are supposed to be perfect, but I am saying the only person who has consistently built me up, has been myself. So I shouldn't discount that.

Friendships are a ton of fun, but they also take up a lot of time. They require work, forgiveness, and understanding to truly be successful.  As I get older, I'm realizing that it's not about the amount of Twitter followers. It's not the amount of people who like your Instagram picture. It's the amount of people that can truly love you unconditionally, and be there when you truly need them. Even if that amount of people is 10, or 1, it is still important. It is still something to be treasured.